Oh the news I have…

I get to go on a trip to represent my school in an ABA competition. How cool is that? Now – it won’t be with the mock trial team, because I didn’t make that. More details as time and anonymity permit… No news on moot court yet.

This weekend – I got lots done. All my reading for the week, an outline for all of criminal procedure to date, and an outline for half of tax. Doing the crim pro outline was very helpful. On the parenthood front, however, I am heading into trouble.

I am feeling quite badly about life with sonny boy this week, but tonight I absolutely lost it. Upon his announcement that he is my equal and has the right to talk to me any way he pleases because it is a free country, I reached my tolerance level. For the first time in his recent life, he is grounded. And I amaze myself. The poor kid has nothing left to do. I told him he can spend his time doing schoolwork, studying the ten commandments, and writing.  I took everything else. The TV, the radio, the portable CD player, the guitar, the video game system, the portable video game system, and his jewelry? Yes. His bracelets and belts and other assorted goodies that are borderline appropriate for any kid anyway. I feel bad. I don’t want to break his spirit. But I am not a carpet, and the sooner he learns that the better off he will be. I suppose I could have ended the night without threatening him with Catholic School or Military School if he finds my current methods to be insufficient. Yes. I am having Mommy Guilt. How do I get a 13 year old who has never been easy but always been good to treat me in a respectful way without being disrespectful to him, which is not my intention? Nobody watching me today would believe that I was a parent of the year in my state a few years back, but alas it is true. I need to get back to that awesomeness. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.

The Mommy stuff

Or Ma, MAAAAA, mom, mum, or yo momma depending on the day, the child, and mood of everyone involved. I haven’t been around too much this week, and it is starting to show. Today between 4 and 6 my phone rang a total of 18 times. Of course, it was set to silent, so I only noticed those calls after the fact. All together, I spoke with the children three times. The first time – hey mom, when are you coming home? Second time – geez, mom, when are you going to get here? The third time – COME ON MAAAAA. You were late last night. We want you  home. And so it is the guilt is starting to set in.

It’s only a week. One week. My trial is this weekend and my brief is due early in the week. Actually, tonight is my last late night. But I pushed it too far. The kids are not happy. And I feel bad. So….I offered them the opportunity to attend the local big regional fair next Friday….let’s all skip school and go to the fair. Now I confess – that doesn’t look like responsible mommy behavior. But Friday is my day off and I can’t afford to take another. Would you believe my nine year old went off on me? Are you kidding? I’m not skipping school to go to a fair! That is wrong, school is important, blah blah blah. Yes, son. I agree. I’m glad you’ve been listening to me. But every once in  awhile, it is ok to take a day off. Somehow I need to get that message out there before I cause my kids to become workaholics.

But then there is the other side of that: I love my kids, but for this week I just want to be a workaholic. I don’t want to feel guilty, I want to do well. I want to do nothing but prepare for mock trial and moot court and law school. I want to do it all and I want my kids to just wait. Just be happy that they are fed, clothed, cared for, and entertained while I am away. Then, just when I get the kids settled into bed I get the call from my honey. Honey, I haven’t seen you all week. (I know. I’ve been busy.) This law school stuff is crazy. I can’t believe how much work is involved. (I know. But I love it and that is how I want to spend my time this week.) How about you take some time off tomorrow to go out for breakfast? (I don’t really have time to go out to breakfast. Actually, I think I would like to get up and work all day. I’m sorry honey, but I really don’t have any time to go out until next weekend.) Those are not the answers I actually gave, but the truth is I wish I did say those things. Because they are the truth. Instead I said something about how horrible it is that I don’t have enough time spend with him, school is demanding and difficult, and breakfast sounds great. Those things are true too. And that, my dear readers, is the nature of balancing law school, parenthood, and a relationship. For tonight, I am torn. And doing my best to accomodate everyone and everything, but nothing is being done as well as it could be done, which troubles me.  So….have a great night. Have a wonderful week. And wish me luck over the next few days. Thanks.

On raising boys and spring break

Hmmmm. Are there even words? While in law school studying away, life has continued on in its routine, semi-predictable fashion. The boys are still boys and their room hasn’t seen me in a few weeks. OK. A month. Just after Christmas since I last organized it and cleaned it myself. They clean. Or shall I say stuff. Under beds, in cabinets, in the closet, even under the mattress. Dirty laundry mixed with clean, etc. Just a disaster area waiting for mom to clean it up. And mom got there today.  It’s amazing how fast they grow. Many clothes needed to be pulled out and packed up. Today they got all new socks. Boys and socks are not a good combination. They also got new shoes. Sizes – 12 y.o. in a men’s 11 and 9 y.o. in a 5.  Spring always hits my pocket book hard. That would be if I carried a pocket book, which I don’t.  But I do carry a wallet and I don’t use credit cards. So….it was an expensive day. Maybe my life would be easier if I was willing to do all that work myself. Instead I waited for the boys to get home from school and made them do most of the work. They were not impressed. So….tomorrow is back to the job hunt and studying. Wish me luck.

Legal memo continued

So the grade is average. Exactly, precisely average. And that is unacceptable.  Last semester started out even worse than average and I pulled it off so I will remain hopeful. The legal memo will be at the top of my to-do list through this week and next. So…it is what it is. For tonight, I am reviewing my research, collecting notes, and scheduling a meeting with the prof to review my outline/initial thoughts. I need to have an excellent concept of what I’m doing before the weekend. I love to write, but legal writing is by far the most difficult writing I have ever done. Other news:

Sonny boy announces that he wants to be an army man and go to war or be a miner. NOT what this mother would choose for her awesome 9 year old. I don’t know where he gets these ideas. But of course I say “Wow – those are some big plans you have. Awesome.”  And I mean it. Who am I to tell this kid what he should or should not aim to do when he grows up? But seriously – let’s hope this wears out soon. I wish I had more time with my children. But I don’t. And this week is turning out to be particularly bad on that front. Right now I’m blogging on the couch while they watch cartoons and take turns in the shower. What I need to do is go work on my memo. I hope all my readers have a lovely day. If anyone has any great legal memo advice, please send it my way.

The Saga Continues

The unbelievable assault on poor people continues in my section. I really am at a loss for words, though I found a few today and gained some supporters along the way.  Perhaps I am overly sensitive? I will need to give this idea more thought.  For tonight there is no time to worry about it. I have a legal memo due this week as well as reading to do for Property and Con Law. I also have two boys here who require attention, with tonights drama focusing on a high ammonia level in the fishtank with associated dead fish. After hauling buckets of water and refreshing the tank with fresh water and appropriate chemical treatments, I think we have saved the remaining fish. PETCO issued my store credit and gave sonny boy and I good advice. Learning how to keep an aquarium is less complicated than law school, but sonny boy feels more upset over the dead fish than I feel over the poor people.  I would like to shield him from this problem, but for tonight all I can do is hope the remaining fish live through the day tomorrow. If so, we are good. If not? Well, who knows. I will deal with that if it happens. The really sad thing is I have no desire to do my law school reading and would much rather curl up in a blanket, watch tv and work on my cross-stitch. That is not to be, but it sure is tempting.  I hope my readers have a lovely day. Stay warm.

Decisions and priorities

This is the first time I have had to make a true choice between going to class or taking care of my children. My son has broken a bone. He needs to see an orthopedic surgeon tomorrow. Lovely ex-husband of mine who has sick time available to him has conveniently avoided my calls all afternoon and evening. I have a group presentation tomorrow at 10. I have three classes, starting at 10 and ending at 2:45. School is an hour away. Allowing son to miss orthopedic appointment tomorrow is not an option, nor is sending him to the surgeon with anyone other than mom or dad. (I guess that’s a choice) So…my current thinking is that I will take sonny to school with me, present our case, and then leave school and miss two classes. Or…depending on the time of his appointment, attend my legal skills class which ends at 12:50. I am way less than happy about this. If the injury happened on my time, I wouldn’t be so upset with the ex. But considering the injury happened on his watch, it seems like he should take some responsibility for it. Not to mention that his children are better off if I am successful in this endeavor. So…enough ranting. For right now my problem is that I can’t concentrate on the law school work I need to get done tonight. I hope my readers have a lovely day tomorrow. I will remind all of you in addition to myself that life happens in the moment by moment decisions that we make.

Monday madness

It’s always a crazy day. Today was no exception. So…I’m exhausted.  Law school accomplishment of the day? I have my physical scheduled for 7/22. Plenty of time to get the form in to school. I am really curious how they are going to handle the immunization records.  I’m a little old for that. My childhood doctor (did they even have the title of pediatrician in those days???) passed on long ago. My high school records were destroyed. I remember seeing the notice in the paper. So does that mean I need the injections again? I sure hope not. On the same note, I have decided to decline the school health insurance plan. At a cost of almost $1300 a year, I would need to visit the doctor at least ten times to make it worth the expense. As a self-employed smoker (or former smoker if I can have my way…) I am paying a pretty penny for major medical coverage. I have a $2500 deductible, but once that is met, my coverage is excellent. So for $1300, I think I will just pay out of pocket for my physical and pray that I don’t get sick or injured too often.

On the parenthood front, I have one eight year old with a fever tonight. I suspect strep throat. If so, his tonsils need to come out. This kid has had strep one too many times, and that was two times ago already. I’ve already had him at the cardiologist for a heart murmur, which he does indeed have. When he gets sick, the murmur gets worse. But undetected or untreated strep can cause that, which is how we ended up at the cardiologist in the first place. Until he has a raging case, he seems to have no symptoms at all. And when he gets it every two or three months, I am left to wonder if it ever went away. I wonder how I will handle sick children when I’m in school all day? I have a plan to get the kids home from school, but it might kill me to not be home with them. I guess we will just need to wait and see.

On the to-do list: Some packing/condensing accomplished, physical scheduled, visit to mom’s to pour medications for the week done, oldest child to physical, oldest child scheduled to have wisdom teeth removed (ouch – that will deserve later press), dog kennel arrangements confirmed for Friday night, and yes, children fed, bathed, clothed, loved, and exercised adequately for today. Currently, both boys are on their way to dream land and my oldest is out at work. That leaves me, using my computer with reckless abandon. All I need now is to wind down so I can sleep.

I have rearranged my schedule to accomodate school, and right now, I am in transition. Tomorrow I work from 4-1AM. That gives me all day to get some things done, and the list awaits.