Balancing Acts

A working single mom attending law school

  • Blog Stats

    • 18,167 hits
  • Recent Posts

  • Archives

  • June 2017
    M T W T F S S
    « Jul    
     1234
    567891011
    12131415161718
    19202122232425
    2627282930  

Archive for the ‘law school’ Category

The night before the bar exam….

Posted by newlawmom on July 25, 2011

I’m calm! Eerily calm. My plan to go to the beach today got doused by the weather. Instead I went out to upgrade my cell phones and then took a three hour nap on my couch. Now its 10:30. I need to pack my bag of goodies. New pens (I LOVE new pens) and plenty of #2 pencils. One watch. A lunch to leave in the car. That’s it. I may or may not have made a mistake by not taking BarBri. And/or by not spending enough time learning the non-MBE subjects. Only time will tell. I wish everyone who is taking the bar exam the best of luck.

Posted in Bar Exam, Bar Exam Prep, law school, Parenthood | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

happy anxiety

Posted by newlawmom on July 18, 2011

True! I am so happy. Next week is the bar exam, people. And I am so ready to be done with it! But of course, that anxiety is kicking in. I spent 13 hours studying today, and expect to meet or beat that every day from now until Sunday night. Next Monday, God-willing, I’m hitting the beach and de-stressing before the real deal. I do my best work under pressure, so I am feeling the full beauty of the thing right NOW!

No second interview on the job I wanted. Bummer. Fight with ex-husband? Triple quadruple bummer. Casey Anthony on the loose? Frightening. Tom Coburn and his $9 trillion dollar plan? un-fricken-believable! YES! Someone who is willing to step up and do the difficult. I am for it. I applaud it. I don’t even need to know what’s in it. I mean hell, you didn’t know what was in the health insurance law, so why should I care what’s in this? The man is willing to lay it on the line, lay people off, shrink the government, mess with entitlements, increase taxes and piss of 99% of the American public. I say go…..please go…….don’t stop now. I mean, in ten years, I’ll be over 50 and my youngest child will be well into adulthood. Why should my grandkids need to deal with our deficit? So please, people, please….I need to study for the bar. Yell loudly. Put the heat on these people. Get it done! That would be the best gift ever! Have a great week. And God Bless the USA!

Posted in Bar Exam, Bar Exam Prep, law school, Parenthood, summer | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

summertime

Posted by newlawmom on June 1, 2011

I love summer. I haven’t gotten to enjoy one in a few years but I am making up for it. I have a sunburn and a garden. I’ve cooked out on the grill a few times, walked barefoot in the grass, driven down the road with my windows down and the radio blaring, and generally just enjoyed the beautiful weather. I’ve watched a thunderstorm, played cards outside by candlelight, and sat on my back porch sipping wine. I’ve even been able to sit outside with a good book. This is the life!

So I didn’t get either job I interviewed for. No problem. Things work out exactly as they are intended to be. Bar review? Eh. Not so much. Barbri doesn’t start until next week so why should I start early? Volunteering? Yes. That I enjoy. But even that, I could give up right about now. I think I am overdue for a break. For now, I will keep the position. But I haven’t made any long term promises. Thank God.

In other words, life is good. Life is very, very good. There will be plenty of time down the road to figure out how I’m going to make a living. It’s not in my sights right this moment. I hope everyone has a great week. Enjoy the weather!

Posted in law mom, law school, Parenthood, summer, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

A weekend!

Posted by newlawmom on May 21, 2011

Without law school? How the hell did that happen? No, no, not now dear. Just enjoy the moment. Seriously. I confess, there is wine involved in this post. The bestest wine ever, if that is possible.  Between the tragic illness of my mother, law school and legal work, I have literally not had a weekend completely and totally free for as long as I can remember. There was always something pressing. But this weekend? I have all to myself. And I intend to enjoy every minute of it.

Tonight involves serious quantities of wine. Pinot Grigio if you need to know. And one tear-jerker movie – The Other Woman with Natalie Portman. I love a good tear jerker. It gives me good reason to just let the tears flow for all of the 1010 reasons I might cry otherwise over the course of year, but manage to postpone. Graduation is a good reason to cry tears of pure happiness. I seriously feel so grateful to have this degree. It means, well, everything. Literally everything. It was a promise made to my adopted son, and I have fulfilled it. With latin honors to boot. But it is more than that. It is proof to all of the world that I am not stupid. That I have value. That I am capable of completing a task I set out to do. And it is a ticket, to be able to contribute something positive to the world. Not sure what I think I have done with the first 40 something years of my life, but I guess I haven’t contributed enough yet. So the tears are flowing. Natilie Portman, of course. You know, every woman loves a good tear jerker.

Someone told me once that I use too many commas. Tonight I say “Who the hell cares?” Who the fuck cares, really? I will use as many commas as I damn well please. And such is the story of my life. I went to a PPT the other day for a client ( and the client is always the parent, which is a problem for me.) The client should really be the student. That is the person who needs to be satisfied. But alas, the law says 16 year old children don’t have any rights. Now who decided that? And…in this case, my kid wants to go out for a smoke before school. Do we really want a child to drop out of school because he wants to leave school grounds to smoke before school? Really? We’re going to punish him and tell him that if he leaves school grounds to smoke in the morning, we will kick him out? But if he smokes on school grounds he would be expelled.  Wouldn’t it be easier to accept that we can not control him, allow him to smoke, and assure him that, notwithstanding his terrible habit, we welcome him to finish his high school education? Is this really radical? Where is the common sense? “Smoking is illegal.” “Kids leaving school grounds is a serious problem.” “We need to call the police.” Really? What planet did I step off of?

In other words, I have no idea where I fit into this legal picture I have drawn. But I sure as hell hope I find my way. And I hope clients find me. Because I am eager to figure out just where the logic actually lies. Some of these laws/rules/regulations/expectations/understandings have just gone one step too far. They no longer make sense. The big picture is more than a little bit cloudy. Dear children of the world – there is one almost, not quite, hopefully soon to be licensed attorney who is just waiting for the opportunity to protect your rights. I actually think you have some. And if that is radical of me, I am willing to accept the consequences.

And to my fellow blogger, browsers. legal professionals, and law students….while I need to protect myself long enough to pass the character and fitness portion of the bar exam, I did not end up in law school because I am a wuss. I don’t think the rapture will actually come to pass. Therefore, I expect to be alive. And for as long as I am alive, I am going to live. For so long as I am living, I will devote my life to the rights of children. All children. It might not be a direct path. But underlying everything is a belief that children do have rights. To claim otherwise is to disparage the human race. So I am coming back to the world of blogging. Because it is wholly insufficient to keep these grand ideas to myself. The wine helps, but the passion exists notwithstanding. I love my life, I love my kids, I love the law, truth, justice, and happiness. Rapture? Yeah. Come and get me.

Posted in child welfare, Child Welfare Issues, Ethics and moral values, law school, Parenthood, Purpose, Relationships | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Moving forward

Posted by newlawmom on May 18, 2011

So law school is over! It’s sort of hard to believe. I made it through with flying colors although it didn’t feel that way at the time.  So it’s time to move on. The bar is next, of course. I met with an attorney to discuss the character and fitness portion of the exam, given the situation with my adopted son along with a few other deviations from perfection over the course of my life. I am assured I will be admitted to the bar and most likely won’t even need to appear in person. That is reassuring although I will believe it when I see it. As for the exam itself, I am not taking any costly preparatory course. I have concluded that the main company involved (and others who aim to compete) make a lot of money because people are frightened of failing. I am frightened too, but not so scared that I am ready to fork over $2000 + to satiate it. So I have myself on a structured bar prep plan of my own design. I’m sure my fear will rear its ugly head a few times as July draws near but the decision has been made.

On the job front: I am volunteering right now with a legal services organization. I will stay there until I find work. I am looking for part time work and had two interviews this week. One was the interview from hell and one went pretty well. If I get the job I will be a very happy girl, working for a solo practice attorney handling a variety of tasks with the option of sharing office space if I want to go solo down the road. Not bad.  Solo practice is where I see myself although I continue to look at every legal  job opening within an hour of my home. If something comes up that could be satisfying to me, I will apply. Meanwhile…..I am glad that I earn a decent enough living that there is no pressure to hurry up.

I have missed blogging. I have missed sunshine, fresh air, and happiness. I have missed my children. I have missed having a clean house. Slowly but surely, my life is settling down and I am grateful for it. The past few years have been more than a little bit crazy. It’s nice to have time on my hands. I hope it lasts.

Posted in law school, Parenthood | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Graduation! Three long years . . .

Posted by newlawmom on May 4, 2011

This poor blog has gone abandoned. But alas, I have returned to let you all know that I have survived. I have beyond survived. I am finished with law school and set to graduate with multiple awards and honors to show for it. I’m just finishing up an internship with a legal service organization and will remain there as a volunteer over the summer. I’ve been given a heads up that a position will open there in the near future and I will apply if that happens. In the meantime, I’ve applied for one “long stretch” job and a couple of part-time positions. My bar application has been submitted and I am going to be studying for that exam completely on my own. 

Alot of things have changed since I started school. My kids are now 11, 15, and 21. They have grown up alot since I started and I think that watching me apply myself to this venture has been good for all of them. I have had three more years to heal from the catastrophe that led me to law school and I am most certainly in a better position now. And, of course, I lost my mom and her partner. That is a hard loss and I am not looking forward to my first Mother’s Day without her.  I will also miss her presence at my graduation. She would most certainly be proud.

So lately I’ve been browsing the blawgs that I used to read everyday. It is great to see all the MILP’s doing so well! You are an inspiration to me as I start to contemplate the work that I will hopefully find. It might be a good time to blog again. We shall see. For today, thank you to all the MILP’s who blog faithfully. I am happy to say that I have succeeded in joining your ranks despite all odds and multiple obstacles! I hope you all have a fantastic day.

Posted in 3L, law school, Law School Life | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

The end is near

Posted by newlawmom on October 28, 2010

Tomorrow I register for my last semester of law school. The best news of all is that I only need eleven credits to graduate and seven of those are going to consist of an externship and moot court credits that I have already earned. That means I only need to take 4 credits worth of classes. It is really hard to believe, but I am glad to see the end in sight. This semester has been really bad for me. I just want to get through it at this point. I am taking six classes, with a total of four exams and two papers. One substantial paper is half done and one has not been started yet. There are only five more weeks of classes, so it is time to prepare. Everyone at my house is basically avoiding me right now because I have been more than a little bit crabby. I can’t help it. I just want to be left alone. It is really sad that after getting this far I feel so overwhelmed by the entire project. I know it will be worth it when its over, and I know when I look back on it I will be happy with achieving it at all, but I had higher expectations for myself all the way around. When law school meets single mom with three kids, a man friend, a job, and a mother who so tragically gets sick and dies between April and September, it is not a pretty sight. I do not recommend it to anyone. Law school does not bend, even though everyone at school has been extremely kind. Right now, I need to put blinders on and ignore the world. That means that anyone who disturbs me is asking for trouble. The level of stress in my life is off the charts, and all my enjoyment of law school is gone. I want nothing more than to be done. So wish me luck with that. I’ll take support from my anonymous non-trad cyber students because there is nobody in my real world who actually gets it.

Posted in 3L, law school | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Rejuvenation

Posted by newlawmom on October 10, 2010

Well, since I took the time to write when I was in a total funk I figure I should write again when I’m not. I did find the time to get in my car and drive far, far away for the weekend. I did some work and I took some time for myself. At least this week I am starting out with half my reading done. I feel a lot better and my head is much clearer, so that should help. I have also taken some time to really think about the fact I am almost done. There is no reason to be derailed now. I feel so much calmer on this fine Sunday evening. Let’s hope it lasts through the next week of classes.

Posted in 3L, law school, loss, Parenthood | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Disaster Strikes

Posted by newlawmom on October 4, 2010

So if I thought for a single minute that the last year of law school would be smooth sailing, I was wrong. I had actually thought about taking the semester off to deal with my mother’s illness, but I decided against it. We lost her companion of many years on 8/15, and my mom passed two weeks ago today. I suppose this is what non-traditional is all about, right? The problem is I am not functioning well. I have been just barely squeezing by since the beginning of the semester and it is starting to catch up with me. I will pull it off in the end, but for today I just feel like bitching. Whining, complaining and being generally difficult. I am behind on my work. Unprepared for class. Incompetent to represent any client and wondering why I ever thought I wanted to do this in the first place. I don’t care about the law as it relates to real property, land use, family, or criminal either. All I really care about right now is my bed and the fact I don’t see nearly enough of it. My children, whom I love dearly, are driving me insane and need far more than I am able to give them. The truth is I want to get in my car and drive far, far away. Sometimes I want to drive far, far away with my law books so I can catch up on my work, and other times I think I should just take a few days completely to myself. Sadly, I do not have time to drive away because every possible thing seems to demand my attention right now, as I have ignored everything since my mother got sick last April. In the end, I want to whine. OK? I’m done now. I’m going to bed so I can start this all over again tomorrow. And no, I haven’t done my reading for those classes yet either. But I’ll be sure to write again after I get caught up.

Posted in 3L, law school, Law School Life, loss, Parenthood | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Observations

Posted by newlawmom on August 24, 2010

Law school has changed people. People have matured. In some ways I would say thank God but in other ways I wonder if people would be happy with the changes. For some of them, it might be a negative thing. I suppose I have changed as well, although I would like to think that law school didn’t do it. But it has. It has changed the way I think and in some ways it has changed the way I view the world. My career plans have changed to a certain degree, and I have learned to see shades of gray. Still don’t like them but black and white just isn’t going to get me anywhere in this field.

I encountered some people today who I haven’t had in class since 1L. They seemed to have a seriousness about them that was lacking. Even our infamous 1L gunner has toned it down. If I had started law school with the knowledge and understanding that I have right now, it would have been a thousand times easier. I can only imagine that others feel the same. So…3L is different. There is no way around it.

Posted in 1L, 3L, law school | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »