Balancing Acts

A working single mom attending law school

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Archive for the ‘summer’ Category

happy anxiety

Posted by newlawmom on July 18, 2011

True! I am so happy. Next week is the bar exam, people. And I am so ready to be done with it! But of course, that anxiety is kicking in. I spent 13 hours studying today, and expect to meet or beat that every day from now until Sunday night. Next Monday, God-willing, I’m hitting the beach and de-stressing before the real deal. I do my best work under pressure, so I am feeling the full beauty of the thing right NOW!

No second interview on the job I wanted. Bummer. Fight with ex-husband? Triple quadruple bummer. Casey Anthony on the loose? Frightening. Tom Coburn and his $9 trillion dollar plan? un-fricken-believable! YES! Someone who is willing to step up and do the difficult. I am for it. I applaud it. I don’t even need to know what’s in it. I mean hell, you didn’t know what was in the health insurance law, so why should I care what’s in this? The man is willing to lay it on the line, lay people off, shrink the government, mess with entitlements, increase taxes and piss of 99% of the American public. I say go…..please go…….don’t stop now. I mean, in ten years, I’ll be over 50 and my youngest child will be well into adulthood. Why should my grandkids need to deal with our deficit? So please, people, please….I need to study for the bar. Yell loudly. Put the heat on these people. Get it done! That would be the best gift ever! Have a great week. And God Bless the USA!

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Bar Prep continued

Posted by newlawmom on July 11, 2011

Ouch. Luckily, the only pain I have right now is from a sunburn. Hopefully I will still feel that way after the bar exam is over! I have done substantial amounts of studying. But I do need to try a bit harder for these next couple weeks. Sunshine, children, barbeques, street fairs, and ice cream nights have consumed large amounts of my time and I am happy about it. I’ve been to the ocean more times in the past three weeks than I went in all three summers of law school combined.

On the job search – I had an interview last week, thanks to that connection I mentioned. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I get a second one, but with each passing day, my optimism fades. Still – three applications submitted, three interviews. That’s pretty good I think. Plus every interview is an opportunity to practice. If I don’t have a semi-dream job by the end of summer I’ll need to change my approach, but in the meantime I will continue to be very selective.

I’m still not smoking. That is a huge deal, but I will only commit to not smoking one day at a time. It is way to much to contemplate forever (or even a week.) I’ve been plagued with a bit of insomnia, which even for a night person is unpleasant. I don’t like looking at the clock at 4 am when I haven’t fallen asleep yet. Plus it leaves me irritable during the day.

I need to submit a few follow-up pieces for the character and fitness examination. So far, nothing too difficult or frightening. Remember, there are a few things I may need to explain. But so far, so good. Let’s see where I’m at next week at this time. Sixteen days to go.

Posted in Bar Exam, Bar Exam Prep, law mom, night owl, Parenthood, summer | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Success!

Posted by newlawmom on June 29, 2011

I have quit smoking. Haven’t had one in six days already. And I have no intention of ever having another. Confession: I am wearing a nicotine patch so I haven’t suffered any physical withdrawal symptoms yet. For right now, I have no intention of ever taking the patch off.

On prepping for the bar: It’s getting close. I’m working hard. Right now I’m working on criminal procedure, using The Glannon Guide (Aspen), Criminal Procedure from First Contact to Appeal by John Worrall, and Basic Criminal Procedure (Thompson/West). I also have the audio cassettes from Gilbert with Prof. Whitebread lecturing. He is a character. I have sample questions for old bar exams and I am using those in preparation. Tomorrow I will focus on criminal/criminal procedure essay answers. I am also using Kaplan’s MBE Review Flashcards.

On summertime and children: I have a suntan! The children are tan. I have spent two days at the ocean and two at my local beach. We have been out for ice cream. Tomorrow night we are off to a street festival in our town, with live music, street performers, a farmer’s market, and local merchant sidewalk sales. We are hosting a picnic on the 4th. Unfortunately, our town hasn’t done fireworks for the past two years, so I still need to think about that. For the most part, the kids are happy. They’ve had lots of opportunity to hang out with their friends. The teenager is still a teenager. I love him, but he is a challenge. I think it would kill him to acknowledge that life is not a chronic catastrophe. So when it is time for chores, or when there is no instant gratification, his life sucks. I take the liberty of saying he is mostly happy with life even if he denies it.

I have applied for an attorney position that would make me a very happy woman. My boss (at the legal aid organization where I am volunteering for the summer) knows the person who is doing the hiring. They have already spoken about me, so I hear. As much as I hate to think that connections matter all that much, I am hoping in this case it does. I am also told they have been overwhelmed with applications, so….keep your fingers crossed for me. And….my sister, who has been a stay-at-home mom for almost ten years, just got hired to teach first grade for a public school system in our state. That is almost miraculous, given the state of the economy here and the serious competition that exists for teaching positions. So I am hoping some of that miraculous energy will flow in my direction. Here’s hoping you all have a great holiday weekend!

Posted in Bar Exam, Bar Exam Prep, law mom, Parenthood, summer | 1 Comment »

OId habits die hard

Posted by newlawmom on June 23, 2011

I am a procrastinator. I am a night owl. I am a smoker. I am bad with money. These are my weak points. Maybe I am prone to short term addictions as well – right now, its the Anthony trial. These are all time and money wasters. They bring large amounts of anxiety into my life. They don’t help me. I have tried to overcome all of these problems at one time or another. I would like to just eliminate all my problems all at once. My life would be better for it, or so I think. The list looks pretty manageable but it’s been the same list for at least thirty years. So I must be missing something. I just want to fix the problems.

I have very good things in my life right now. Happy, healthy children. A future spouse who loves me. A beautiful home. An education. People who respect me. And for now, my own health. There are no impending catastrophes, no drama. If there is a time where I have all the support I need to fix my problems, this is it. So why is it  that I am scared shitless to even try? I am immobilized by the thought of it.

The bar exam is simple. Sit. Study. Repeat. But it would be so nice if at the end of the day I felt good about myself. So that is my current project. I need to move some money, set a budget, give up the smokes, and adopt a normal schedule. If I did all of those things I would start fresh and maybe have less reason to procrastinate. This has got to be my main goal for the summer. It simply must.

 

Posted in Bar Exam, Bar Exam Prep, night owl, Purpose, summer | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

summertime

Posted by newlawmom on June 1, 2011

I love summer. I haven’t gotten to enjoy one in a few years but I am making up for it. I have a sunburn and a garden. I’ve cooked out on the grill a few times, walked barefoot in the grass, driven down the road with my windows down and the radio blaring, and generally just enjoyed the beautiful weather. I’ve watched a thunderstorm, played cards outside by candlelight, and sat on my back porch sipping wine. I’ve even been able to sit outside with a good book. This is the life!

So I didn’t get either job I interviewed for. No problem. Things work out exactly as they are intended to be. Bar review? Eh. Not so much. Barbri doesn’t start until next week so why should I start early? Volunteering? Yes. That I enjoy. But even that, I could give up right about now. I think I am overdue for a break. For now, I will keep the position. But I haven’t made any long term promises. Thank God.

In other words, life is good. Life is very, very good. There will be plenty of time down the road to figure out how I’m going to make a living. It’s not in my sights right this moment. I hope everyone has a great week. Enjoy the weather!

Posted in law mom, law school, Parenthood, summer, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »