Balancing Acts

A working single mom attending law school

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Posts Tagged ‘change’

OId habits die hard

Posted by newlawmom on June 23, 2011

I am a procrastinator. I am a night owl. I am a smoker. I am bad with money. These are my weak points. Maybe I am prone to short term addictions as well – right now, its the Anthony trial. These are all time and money wasters. They bring large amounts of anxiety into my life. They don’t help me. I have tried to overcome all of these problems at one time or another. I would like to just eliminate all my problems all at once. My life would be better for it, or so I think. The list looks pretty manageable but it’s been the same list for at least thirty years. So I must be missing something. I just want to fix the problems.

I have very good things in my life right now. Happy, healthy children. A future spouse who loves me. A beautiful home. An education. People who respect me. And for now, my own health. There are no impending catastrophes, no drama. If there is a time where I have all the support I need to fix my problems, this is it. So why is it  that I am scared shitless to even try? I am immobilized by the thought of it.

The bar exam is simple. Sit. Study. Repeat. But it would be so nice if at the end of the day I felt good about myself. So that is my current project. I need to move some money, set a budget, give up the smokes, and adopt a normal schedule. If I did all of those things I would start fresh and maybe have less reason to procrastinate. This has got to be my main goal for the summer. It simply must.

 

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Posted in Bar Exam, Bar Exam Prep, night owl, Purpose, summer | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Observations

Posted by newlawmom on August 24, 2010

Law school has changed people. People have matured. In some ways I would say thank God but in other ways I wonder if people would be happy with the changes. For some of them, it might be a negative thing. I suppose I have changed as well, although I would like to think that law school didn’t do it. But it has. It has changed the way I think and in some ways it has changed the way I view the world. My career plans have changed to a certain degree, and I have learned to see shades of gray. Still don’t like them but black and white just isn’t going to get me anywhere in this field.

I encountered some people today who I haven’t had in class since 1L. They seemed to have a seriousness about them that was lacking. Even our infamous 1L gunner has toned it down. If I had started law school with the knowledge and understanding that I have right now, it would have been a thousand times easier. I can only imagine that others feel the same. So…3L is different. There is no way around it.

Posted in 1L, 3L, law school | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »