Does it seem that I should be able to master the art of writing legal analyis? Is three papers enough to get it right? In every aspect of my prior life the answer is yes. Legal skills class? Oh my. I am missing something. I’m not sure what. I met with the prof. Listened carefully. Heard him say I was on the right track, followed his editing suggestions. And it is still not good enough. OR….it is fine. And so is everyone elses. And therefore I should not expect my grade to reflect anything spectacular. It is frustrating to be sure. My current plan is to edit again based on his written comments and ask him to review it, explain that I do not want to stop working on it until I get it right. Fully right. 100% right God damn it. See? I had a frustrating day! I am tired. I want to go to bed now. And so it is. Friday can not get here soon enough. I do hope my readers have a spectacular day.
Posts Tagged ‘perfectionism’
Posted by newlawmom on September 18, 2008
Posted by newlawmom on September 12, 2008
Maybe its the day. Who knows. Law school is crazy. I love it. I need to be here. It is all good. But the law isn’t what it ought to be. There are problems, and I am finding them faster than I ever imagined possible. Its all about money. Money, money, and more money. I hope that is only the first semester classes. Maybe the law I’m looking for comes later. Justice can not be reduced to money and punishment. Liability and consequences. Compensation, retribution. Furthermore, I am being told that tort law (and presumably criminal law?….NO do not presume) serves the purpose of encouraging people to avoid vigilante-ism. If that is true, why do we allow gangs and drug deals to escape the law? When we let them settle their own score and secure their own justice they do it. In deadly ways, which leave thousands of children parentless and at risk. Not to mention the innocent people who are killed along the way. I don’t get it. And justice is money? What about performance? What about getting what I am supposed to get? What about the things that matter? They are all reduced to a dollar figure? How does that help? How is that fair? I have never sued anyone. Can’t imagine that I ever would. But if I did I suspect it would be because I wanted an honest apology. Wanted someone to take responsibility for their act. Wanted validation that what happened was wrong. Money? If there is something so serious that I need to sue you, I can promise you it is not about the money. Take the money and stuff it as far as I’m concerned. I really hope there is more to the law than money and punishment. I really, really hope there is. But if not, I still need to be here. I need to know that, need time to evaluate it, and need time to figure out how I will seek justice for people if law as it works in America is not the answer.
So..I’m off for the weekend. Not exactly. I worked tonight, work tomorrow, and work Sunday. But I am free from the immediate pressure of the daily law school grind. Make no mistake about it, that is what it is. Hard, demanding, and somewhat stressful. For today I feel good about my likelihood of success there. As in top of the class success. I have not forgotten my purpose here. Its all or nothing. Otherwise why bother. That is perfectionism at its worst. And I have a lifelong affliction. Hope my readers have a truly lovely weekend. I plan on enjoying mine to the fullest extent and returning to school refreshed and fully prepared on Monday.