Posted by newlawmom on June 23, 2011
I am a procrastinator. I am a night owl. I am a smoker. I am bad with money. These are my weak points. Maybe I am prone to short term addictions as well – right now, its the Anthony trial. These are all time and money wasters. They bring large amounts of anxiety into my life. They don’t help me. I have tried to overcome all of these problems at one time or another. I would like to just eliminate all my problems all at once. My life would be better for it, or so I think. The list looks pretty manageable but it’s been the same list for at least thirty years. So I must be missing something. I just want to fix the problems.
I have very good things in my life right now. Happy, healthy children. A future spouse who loves me. A beautiful home. An education. People who respect me. And for now, my own health. There are no impending catastrophes, no drama. If there is a time where I have all the support I need to fix my problems, this is it. So why is it that I am scared shitless to even try? I am immobilized by the thought of it.
The bar exam is simple. Sit. Study. Repeat. But it would be so nice if at the end of the day I felt good about myself. So that is my current project. I need to move some money, set a budget, give up the smokes, and adopt a normal schedule. If I did all of those things I would start fresh and maybe have less reason to procrastinate. This has got to be my main goal for the summer. It simply must.
Posted in Bar Exam, Bar Exam Prep, night owl, Purpose, summer | Tagged: bar exam, Bar Prep, change, law school mom, procrastination, stress | Leave a Comment »
Posted by newlawmom on November 9, 2009
I have no idea what I am doing, but I sure am getting it done. Piece by little tiny piece. Task for today – figure out some amortization tables for a commercial real estate problem. That sounds simple enough. I’m sucking energy from the bottom today, so it’s not so easy. What I’m doing here, clearly, is procrastinating. Increments of what, you might ask. I have no idea. Boredom. Slavery. Drudgery. Boredom. repeat. I’ve had plenty of happy days lately but today is not one. I want a nap. I want a Carvel Banana Foster Dasher. Where the hell did that come from? Hmm. OK. So perhaps when I am done procrastinating on the internet I can go to Carvel’s and then come home and take a nap. Maybe after that I can calculate some amortization. Like dessert only backwards. Ask me why I choose to share these random musings? Because I am 100% certain my current mental state has something to do with law school in November. I want out. [Disclaimer: This is a momentary condition and has nothing to do with my true feelings on the matter.]
Posted in 2L, law school, Parenthood | Tagged: 2L, boredom, frustration, law school, law school mom, procrastination | 2 Comments »
Posted by newlawmom on August 14, 2008
It starts tomorrow. I should be in bed by now. Am I? No. I should have my assignment done. Do I? No. Do I care? Yes. But I have found it hard to get in the swing of law school before law school gets started. Perhaps tomorrow will be the beginning of successful student-hood. It still doesn’t feel real to me. I have been living my regular life right up until 11PM. I didn’t even start to think about tomorrow until then. I am still unmotivated to go read. I need to make myself a list of things to bring with me in the morning. I am not a morning person but I would like to get to school with the necessary materials. Wish me luck. I’ll write again tomorrow.
Posted in Law School Life | Tagged: 1L, 1L orientation, law school mom, procrastination | Leave a Comment »