Posted by newlawmom on September 30, 2008
Terrible thing? My darling college freshman has run up over $200 worth of text messaging costs and I can’t smash the phone into a million bits because she lives four states away. We’ve had this conversation before. Ship the phone home, baby. Mommy isn’t rich. Attempting to raise two boys as a single parent on the income that 20 hours worth of work per week limitation allows me to live on while simulaneously making a substantial contribution to darling daughters educational costs doesn’t leave much money left over. Law school on scholarship is a blessing but it doesn’t eliminate living expenses. Spare me. Be grateful that you have a phone and respect the limits I’ve placed on it. Or pay for your own damn phone. Things like this make me angry.
So…I managed a B on the Civ Pro sample exam. Seeing that B was enough to make me want to cry happy tears. How did I get here? Clearly I need to do better. After considering the situation I realize it is not that I need to spend more time on the law work. It is a matter of method. My new strategy is to allow larger chunks of time towards individual classes, reading ahead, digesting the information, and outlining all at once in time chunks of several hours. This is in comparison to an hour or so of reading for one class, moving on to the next, and spending a few hours outlining all the courses on Friday night and over the weekend. A new strategy with plenty of time left to implement it before exams hit. Praying will not help me here. Action is required. But I do pray I am up to the task. There is something about law school that is making me feel old, unprepared, and on occassion, stupid. While I had heard this could happen, I didn’t expect it to happen to me. I am glad I still have two months until exams. That leaves time to improve. So…I hope my readers have a lovely day. I plan on having an outstanding day tomorrow.
Posted in Law School Life, Parenthood | Tagged: 1L, ABA work restriction, law school exams, law school mom, single mom | Leave a Comment »
Posted by newlawmom on July 5, 2008
And I choose happy every single time. I wish I could find a way to have both, but it is not to be. So…when I talk about never being satisfied, that is the real issue. I have chosen a career that doesn’t pay. Furthermore, my current career does not allow me to function at my highest potential nor does it allow me to have much of an impact on human welfare. So I have chosen law as a path towards satsifaction. Unfortunately, the people I want to serve with this future law degree do not have money to pay, so it won’t be a high paying career. I have no idea how I am going to make a living.
So what happens to me? I guess that is really what my family was asking yesterday. I am going to law school and will graduate with minimal debt thanks to a generous scholarship. I COULD take this awesome education and apply it towards making money. I am more than capable. But I don’t want it. Unless I am working to benefit children and/or otherwise needy adult populations, I will not be happy. And happiness is what I am looking for. Unfortunately, I still need to pay the bills. And I live in America, where money seems to be the force that motivates many people. So this is why I constantly feel like a fish out of water. Maybe I just haven’t met the right people. Maybe law school will be the place to do that. In the meantime, I would live in a cardboard box if I thought it would allow me to truly serve a purpose in the world. It doesn’t seem to make any sense. I need to have money in order to do any good to anybody. But despite being a hard-working person for all of my life, I have never chosen to make any. The thought of putting myself (and money) ahead of others makes me literally ill. I can’t do it. Not even for a day. So I ought to make one strange lawyer when all is said and done. But I can work half-time, go to school full-time, and raise three children. No problem. So long as that work involves helping others, I’m all good. I can live on a budget. I have managed it all my life. But clearly this is an unresolved issue, or I wouldn’t be writing about it. So I might as well work it out in cyberspace.
Posted in Child Welfare Issues, Law School Life, Parenthood, Purpose | Tagged: 1L, child welfare, Purpose, single mom | Leave a Comment »